According to therapist and relationship expert Ken Page, LCSW, quizzes like this are fun, of course, but having a daily practice of checking in with each other is “a really wonderful thing to do.” He recommends finding time for each other every day and thinking of a thoughtful question or two that can help you both root in your connectedness—whether something from this list or something you come up with on your own.
Page is also a fan of the 36 questions to fall in love, developed in the 1990s by psychologists Arthur Aron, Ph.D.; Elaine Aron, Ph.D.; and other researchers. This set of questions has been found, on many an occasion, to cultivate intimacy and connection between strangers—so it certainly couldn’t hurt to cover those questions, Page says.
In addition to that, Richmond suggests simply getting curious with each other on a regular basis. “Sit down at least once a week, where you have each other’s undivided attention, with eye contact, and you aren’t distracted.” Ask each other questions, have genuine curiosity for each other, and just enjoy the process of getting to know each other. (Here are some conversation starters for couples to get you started.)
Whether you aced this quiz or there’s still more to learn, the bottom line is, it’s important to understand who we’re with. When we take time to consciously learn about our partner, not only do we see them more and more as they truly are, but we give them the gift of being seen and understood.
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